communication in relationships, how couple should communicate, effective communication between couples, communication for couples

7 Effective Communication Habits Every Couple Should Practice

Here's how you can prevent conflicts and strengthen your relationship.

Being in a relationship can be tough, but when you’re able to tide over the bad times, it will be extremely fulfilling. However, more often than not, we struggle with that. It’s easy jumping to conclusions, or making mountains out of molehills over problems that didn’t need to be there in the first place. The best way to overcome this: proper communication. Misunderstandings and miscommunications are no stranger to us, unfortunately. However, they don’t have to be a hindrance to our relationship either. Let us share with you a few tips that have helped many couples foster better communication with their other half.


1. Agree to disagree

You may feel that your partner is very similar to you, but the fact of the matter is, no two people are exactly the same—in physical appearances, personalities, or in thinking. It may seem like such a simple concept, but just knowing this isn’t enough. You need to understand and accept it. There are certain things both of you will never agree on, and that's perfectly okay. You don’t have to keep manipulating their mentalities to fit yours, nor do you have to mould them to be your ideals in order to love them. Don’t let certain differences crumble your relationship, because sometimes, some fights aren’t worth fighting. You'll just have to agree to disagree.


2. Don’t play games 

Honesty is really the best policy. If something is bothering you, gather the courage to talk to your partner about it. Don’t let things build up—it's the worst thing you can do to your relationship. There is simply no point in playing passive-aggressive mind games. Be mature about your feelings, and learn to be vulnerable.

Also, never twist the truth just to appease someone. Your partner deserves to know everything as it is. Don’t hurt or trifle with someone’s feelings just because you’re unsure of your own, or want to save yourself from undesireable consequences. Your personal happiness shouldn’t be built on the back of someone else’s—let alone your partner’s.


3. Don’t push the blame

It’s human nature to want to believe we are always right. However, it is necessary to recognise our own pitfalls and mistakes and take responsibility for them. Blaming other people, even each other, doesn’t help. Acknowledge that in every situation, there was one way or another in which you could have reacted in a better manner. When you start to take responsibility for your actions, it will help your partner feel less defensive and less worked up. This will help ease the situation and provide for a better channel for both of you to talk things out calmly and rationally.


4. Active listening

There’s listening and then there’s active listening. People need to be heard, and by listening actively, you’re letting your significant other know you’re paying close attention and that you’re hearing everything they are saying. No distractions; no interruptions. Take time to really listen to and understand things from their point of view and try to be as empathetic as possible. Not only does this improve your partner’s emotional well-being, it also helps you understand the situation from a different point of view.


5. Cool down first 

Avoid raising your voice, to improve your arguments. Heated arguments bring you nowhere. When you feel your temper rising, just walk away. Let yourself cool down and collect your thoughts before you engage in further discussion. Doing this prevents you from saying things you’ll regret later. You can’t take your words back once the damage is done, and I’m sure you don’t want to hurt your spouse either. Words can cut deeper than you think, and some wounds never heal. Once you and your partner have calmed down, initiate discussion again, to settle the problem once and for all.


6. Love languages

Gary Chapman came up with the notion that men and women have five love languages. Different people show and feel love in various ways, which can be categorised into five main categories:(1) words of affirmation; (2) receiving gifts; (3) quality time; (4) acts of service, and (5) physical touch. It's important (and very helpful) to know which love languages apply to you and to your partner. While the both of you might have a different love language, by speaking the right one to each other, the both of you can express and show love to each other in a more effective manner, which then helps you build and strengthen your relationship. You can discover your love language here.


7. Appreciation

Being in a relationship takes a lot of hard work and we all know it can be very tough sometimes. Hence, it is important to show our love and appreciation for our partners, telling them that their effort has not gone to waste, and is recognised and acknowledged. Realising that our loved ones appreciate us, furthers our motivation to give back even more. Creating such a cycle will help foster your relationship. Give credit where credit is due!


No two people are perfect and likewise, no relationship is either. However, that doesn’t mean that we can't work towards perfection. Effective communication allows us to connect with our partners on a deeper level, and hopefully these 10 habits will help strengthen your relationship.


This article first appeared on Bow and Tiara

Featured photo: One of Hollywood's cutest couples, Alex and Sierra; photo via Tumblr


By Ariel Q.Y.

Ariel is a regular contributor at Bow & Tiara - A relationship media platform, where a community of millennials readers and writers share their thoughts, feelings and beliefs about love & relationship.


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